Commie Wants a Trust Fund

Rosemary, you’re the only kind waitress in this radical cooperative socially-woke vegan restaurant

all the other waitresses despise me because I’m the dishwasher

Rosemary, only you smile at me

all the other waitresses treat me like I’m salmonella

I thought I could scrub crud with pride here, but I was wrong

I’m in the grease pit of this phony utopia

Rosemary, you bring me half-eaten Ho Chi Minh hash browns to devour

you sneak me egalitarian waffles & Emma Goldman goulash

after work you tell me you wanna buy me a drink - so I follow you like a stray dog

you order Smirnoff because you want to support Soviets, like us

Rosemary, the longer I drink the longer your legs look

your eyes are as blue as the dish-washing detergent

your teeth are whiter than the coffee cups

Rosemary — what’s this? you’re telling me your husband is a Republican?

he’s been impotent with you since the last election?

now he’s having an affair with Sheena - his motivational coach?

Rosemary, you follow me now to my trailer by the train tracks

my bed is as frigid as a Siberian gulag

Rosemary, you beg me. “please talk like a Marxist”

I say, “Okay! I’m a Sandinista, Zapatista, Red Brigader

I shot the Czar, Che es mi amigo, Lumumba died in my arms”

Rosemary, your breast starts heaving like the collapse of the capitalist system

you embrace me passionately

like the Workers of the World - united - we tear off our clothes

you want me inside you, but — oh no!

I’m as limp as your Republican husband

Rosemary, you cry: “what do you need? I’ll do anything?”

& I say, “Rosemary, I need a fantasy too

will you pretend to be my wealthy Grandmother

tell me you’re giving me stocks, bonds & mutual funds

tell me I’m going to inherit some money?”

Rosemary, you hiss, “that’s disgusting, that’s — bourgeoisie”

& I say, “I know, but it will definitely work”

Rosemary, what an odd couple we were

I was your Trotsky, you were my Trust Fund

I promised the destruction of what you promised me

until we shuddered with our own revolution