Ken and Barbie's First Date

Ken and Barbie went bird-watching in a National Park

Ken peered through his binoculars, he saw a crested lark

Barbie's thinking, "I really really want to kiss

this geeky ornithologist!"

Ken says, "over there, in the lake, below the moon

is that an osprey, or a loon?"

Barbie stares at his tight ass

she decides, "I'm gonna make a pass!"

Ken says, "in the cypress, do you hear the snicker

of the grey sap-sucking flicker?"

Barbie decides "I"m gonna get bolder!"

she puts her arm around his shoulder

Ken says, "what's going on? do you wanna dance?"

Barbie says, "NO!" she rips off his pants

Ken says, "Okay!" he takes off her skirt

then they take off Kenny's shirt.

Next, Barbie's blouse and underwear

soon the both of them are bare

Ken picks up Barbie in his arms,

a hill of flowers is their bed

Barbie whispers, "I like it soft and slow..."

Ken ignores what she said

Ken skipped the foreplay, yes he did

He skipped the nibbles and the strokes

He did not do the cuddling, the laughs and silly jokes

Ken was impatient, over-eager

He held her in his arms and shoved

his twig into her beaver

Thirty seconds, then release

Ken's pleasure was very brief

Now he's twitching, melancholy

He came too quickly, oh!  what folly!

Barbie now she says to him:

"You had your fun, you shot your sperm

now concentrate, 'cause its my turn

please be gentle, don't be rough

I want you to lick my muff"

Okay, Ken spent five minutes, he spent ten

He rolled her over and tried again

Fifteen minutes, then twenty-two

his jaws, they slobbered, smacked and chewed

half an hour, than forty-five!

Ken was drowning between her thighs

His fingers ached, his mouth is strained

his tongue is cramped with terrible pain

Barbie lay there half-asleep, polite

Ken munched on her all through the night

The sun came up and Barbie said:

"Pay attention, sleepy-head!

You had your silly climax, I ask you, where is mine?

You're impatient, like all boys,

you've got to take your time!"

Ken begged her, "Barbie, please give me a clue

tell me how to stimulate you"

Barbie now remarks:

"My clitoris is really quite petite

to locate it at all is really quite a feat

Men have died of hunger, men have died of shame

several lovers went insane

Hundreds have tried but all have failed

no man has ever made me wail"

"That sounds like a challenge!"

Ken hissed into her face

"I will find that little demon, and I will have a taste!

I'm not at all fatigued, I'm feeling at my peak

I will find your small clitoris if it takes me half a week!"

Headfirst he dove into the brush

Methodical, he did not rush

he explores her inch by inch

Barbie does not squirm, she does not flinch

Ken wandered up her valleys, he explored downstream

in and out her crevices, you know exactly what I mean

He poked her here and there

he probed her everywhere

the female organ should be something you just can't miss

But Barbie? After three days there was still no clitoris

Ken was starving by this time, he was almost blind

Barbie now remarked, "It's not impossible to find...

but it would be easier I think, with a powerful telescope

with that you'd have a chance, you'd have a glimmer of some hope"

"A telescope?" Ken wondered,  "What about binoculars?

The ones I use to admire the hovering vultures?"

"Great idea!" Barbie whispered, as Ken renewed the hunt.

Once again he slowly scanned her open... beep!

There at last he found it, like a diamond in the rough

A microscopic clitoris in the middle of her puff

with his little finger he touched the tiny spot

it was boiling, steaming, it was extremely hot

Barbie's legs began to twitch, her stomach began to spasm

could this be, Ken wondered, the beginning of orgasm?

yes, it was!  It was!  At last!

It happened now, extremely fast!

After struggling together ninety hours, plus three

Ken finally consumated his first date with Barbie

The moral of this gentle poem:

Everyone is different, no two are quite the same

Is something is uncomfortable, don't accuse or blam

please don't make any body feel shame

Talk the situation through

find out what you need to do

there's a solution if your love is true

thank you