HAPPY UNTIL WE’RE DEAD

My wife is growing cellulite / It’s crawling down her legs My husband, he’s got hemorrhoids / They’re bubbling out of his ass

Her skin was once as smooth as cream / But now, it’s cottage cheese His back is stiff, his mind is weak / He’s farting in his sleep

Her butt looks like the moon / Enormous and dotted with craters He’s blind, he’s deaf, he’s crippled / But he still wants to drive

We’ve had a long and wretched life Full of horrible stress and strife Despair and Agony our only friends We’re so relieved we’re near the end

I wrote my will, I bought my grave Let’s spend the money we have saved

Let’s be happy! Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy we’re fed Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead!

War and germs and poverty I’m glad I’ll croak this century

Civilization is beginning to smell I’ll soon escape this living hell I can’t find a place to park

I need a bypass for my heart I can’t smell or taste the food Children on the street are rude!

We worry about senility we worry about disease We worry about anything we damn well please

But the future is not our concern we’ll be hiding in our coffins / Eaten by worms!

Life was long, but now… it’s brief

I don’t feel any grief I think it’s just a a big relief!

Let’s be happy, yeah. Let’s be happy now Let’s be happy instead of sad Let’s be happy in the head Let’s be happy in bed Let’s be happy until we’re dead! Let’s be happy with pills let’s be happy with drugs Let’s be happy when we’re getting…. Robbed by thugs!

Take me to the mortuary take me to the cemetery

Bury all of us together bury us in stormy weather That’s the way it’s been. Are you happy? Yes I am happy, too I am happy with you

Let’s be happy let’s be happy Let’s be happy until we’re dead!